Sometimes

I feel like I don't know myself. Like nobody knows the real me. Would anyone even like the real me? I think things like this because I'm alone a lot. My boyfriend finds other things to do, and I don't have that many friends. Well, I may have some friends but I'm nervous to be friends with anyone. I can't trust anybody. I used to have trust with everyone I knew. I let everyone into my life completely, leaving nothing out. I was too open. I told my friends about my Mother and her problems, Steven and our problems, and everything in-between. I put my trust into so many people, I'm surprised I wasn't let down sooner. Or maybe I was, I just open my eyes to it until recently. The old me didn't realize that all those "friends" didn't give a shit about me, or even what really matters in life. I thank my son everyday for what he's done for me. It doesn't matter that I am lonely right now, because I'll have him for the rest of my life. He has given me so much, without even being born yet. He has given me knowledge, wisdom, appreciation, and so much more. Thank you Ryan. I love you.